You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize