from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
