I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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