you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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