You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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