New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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