All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize