how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
