Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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