you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
