I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
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I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
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I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I had to cum in my sink.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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