I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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