Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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