woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Barsexuality is the new black.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I could fuck to npr.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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