Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
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The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
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You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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