whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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