I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
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We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
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They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.