i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
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why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
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I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.