Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children