Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
