I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
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No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
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I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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