are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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