Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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