very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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