think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
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not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
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You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!