I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
