Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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