I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
