If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
After tacos, we're chasing women.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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