my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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