he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize