Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
