I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
