I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria