It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic