If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet