i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
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