those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
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After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
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I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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