i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize