Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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