I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Found your dick twin last night
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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