dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
