I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
