Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
