if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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