Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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