I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
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My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
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Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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