Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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