everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize