You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
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I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
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Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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