I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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