I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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