note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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