Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
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Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
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Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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